Saturday, September 26, 2009

Get Over It

When you first go to recovery meetings, if that is what you choose to do for your plan of recovery, you might hear a lot of people saying things like,

"As soon as I came to (insert twelve-step program), I felt at home,"


"I never had a family of my own until I came to ..."

For some people that may be true, but for MANY people in early recovery, the rooms of a twelve-step program can be just as daunting as being social in the "outside world."

After all, we generally use to avoid being uncomfortable in any kind of relationship (including with ourselves), and recovery meetings are asking us not only to have a relationship with ourselves, but with others as well.

HORRORS, right?


While you may be one of the many people who feel "like an outsider looking in," when you begin any sort of recovery, try to keep in mind the following:




No matter where you "land" yourself in early recovery (twelve-step programming, inpatient treatment, therapy, white knuckling it alone, etc...) you are going to feel awkward and uncomfortable.

That is the reality of what recovery is like...


you are also going to get through it over time, unlike your active addiction, which, given continued use, you would NEVER have gotten over.

Try to remember in your early days (and in more "blossomed" recovery when you are having one of those paranoid, "off" days), that even though it may feel like you are an alien in a strange land, that others have walked in yours shoes and that no matter what anyone says, they, too, have been "lonely and frustrated."

They too have "gotten over it."

Just for Today, try not to compare your insides with what you THINK you see on other people's outsides.


  1. I come from a huge family. I never have felt more out of place since recovery. Not with stepping, but with my family. Only two of us are sober and dry. The rest, soaking wet. I have had to cut many ties to keep sober and the ties the bind now are my 12 stepping family. My whole circle of friends is completely different as well. But, it's worth ever single minute of every day. A struggle, you bet, some white knuckle days still after all these years. But over all, my family now are the ones who support me while i'm sober.

    I'm glad I found your blog. It will gently remind me my efforts will be blessed. Hugs. Tammy

  2. Thanks so much Tammy..
    I hope you are having a joyous and fun-filled day!

  3. A great reminder for me. I feel much at home with the fellowship now, while it took some time at the beginning.