If you are early in your journey towards recovery, I would bet that you can't remember the last time you laughed....I mean, truly laughed.
Not laughed at something like falling over a railing or laughing over the remnants of an evening you partially remember...but, just a self-generated, sober-influenced laugh that lingered for awhile.
Many therapists and sponsors working with recovering men and women will say that they know the person with whom they work is getting a little better when he/she starts laughing again.
That's just it. Drinking and drugging robs you of one of the fundamental aspects that defines your humanity.
And, not only do you not deserve such a loss, but you DEFINITELY, deserve the chance to get that back and to live the life you were meant to live again (or, even, for the first time).
So, for today, join the equivalent of a Netflix and start ordering any show/movie/sitcom that has ever generated a belly laugh from you in your lifetime; even if it is something you remember from a brief time you might have felt joy in your childhood.
Treat yourself and the child inside of you to the playfulness you've so been triving to obtain through your addiction. Even though this will fill hoaky and, potentially, not so much fun at first, such activities are useful in re-training your brain to seek engagement and "good-times" in activities that are not related to your drug of choice.
Before long you will begin to look for other opportunities to laugh, to engage and, of course, to live life more fully again.