Have you ever just tried to sit? To stay? To listen?
I can't say that I've succeeded at that task very many times in my life. But I sure have tried.
However, the willingness to even try such a behavior can make a world of difference in the life of anyone in recovery.
Of course, when you do try, dreaded FEELINGS may emerge, but, that is the whole point in cleaning up your life.
If you wanted a feelingless life, the numbness of your addiction would have kept you there just fine.
But you didn't, because you chose to stop.
Just for today remember that when you look at sitting still and feeling as a CHOICE, not a life sentence, you will free yourself to move past the feelings and live the life you were meant to live.
Well, I should mention (it will not sound very humble?) that one thing I CAN do is meditate. One thing I have learned is how to meditate. One thing I KNOW which gets me through any rough times (and there still are some now and then) is meditation.
ReplyDeleteWhen I can sit and "know" God (as I understand God) i receive that quietness of heart and mind for which I longed for those OH so many years, drunk...and later sober.
So well said! Thanks for reminding me that it IS okay to sit and BE. Truthfully, I hated running from myself and the numbness was fleeting. I just need to remember that.
ReplyDeleteBlythe, sorry about the "husband" thing--I really thought I found his blog one day. I'll remove my "PI" sign from the door.
ReplyDeleteActually I found three more blogs of YOURS. And maybe that ends the story?
And one reason (joke) you're not married--you've been too damn busy, all those jobs, degrees, activities! And a 4.0 average at Loyola--WOW! (didn'tcha do any extra work??? --grin!)
Well, please stay on this blog "family" because you are needed here, enthusiastic, sense of humor, a well-documented drunk who doe not get "sick" any more.
I don't see you on my sidebar blog roll, but you're goin' there NOW!
Peace.
BLYTHE...THERE it is, at bottom of blog it reads: Posted by Sammy Landry...OK? I am NOT yet ready for the "institution", as they used to say!
ReplyDeleteOkay. so your Sammy has four legs, and a tail which wags, did you train him to wag? Heaven help me--I will read more carefull your stuff hereafter.
Steve you are the best ever!!!! thanks so much for your tremendous support:)
ReplyDeleteI agree. I've thought about taking sitting meditation from a friend. She told me that it is difficult for many people to just sit for 5 minutes to keep their mind clear. I don't have much of a problem with just sitting and meditating on my boat. It's a great place to do that.
ReplyDelete